Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
