using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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