did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
