How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
