Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This house was built for laser tag.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
