CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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