If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
