I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
