It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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