Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
