Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
