No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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