i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
