I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
