she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
