I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
