Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
