I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
