some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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