you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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