Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
