Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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