I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
