So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize