I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
