Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
