You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
