i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
