Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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