We're like a lot better than the average bears
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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