I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize