i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
