I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
No subtext here. People are naked.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
