My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
