barbara walters just said penis...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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