Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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