So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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