I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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