I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
