what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had to cum in my sink.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
