dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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