Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
