I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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