he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Shame is for Republicans.
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