dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Quick, to the slutcave!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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