Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
