I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
