I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
