jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
