so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
