I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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