Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
