You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
