let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
