I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
