he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
