I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
