what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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