is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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