I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
