The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
