laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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