Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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