He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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