Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
