I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
